tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52708752012-02-03T04:01:38.396-08:00Ophelia, from Shakespeare's Hamlet, went mad and eventually drowned herself to end her miseries and hopelessness. She cried help, yet no one came to her rescue. Life wasted? Or was it a wise decision? May you be my guiding light, Ophelia.Ivynoreply@blogger.comBlogger3721100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-312694365310322202006-09-10T23:46:00.000-07:002006-09-11T01:05:46.908-07:00

Who knew doing nothing can be so fun and comforting?The day after the dinner party,the thought of doing anything active seems like a chore.So there we were, snuggled up in the couch,with warm blankets wrapped around us.Me, like a perfect puzzle piece, fit into his embracewithout a tinge space between us.With him pressed up against my back,we channel surfed all afternoon.Like lazy cats on a sunny

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1157702639898349172006-09-08T00:35:00.000-07:002006-09-08T01:12:48.003-07:00

Tonight, I found my way back here. I hope it's not an indication that I have some issues I need to work out. Or maybe I am just in denial and that I really only have something to write about when I am not exactly satisfied with life. Who knows.Sometimes I am so annoyed with myself, like tonight. I knew certain things will definitely upset me, yet I set myself up for failure and trapped myself

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1143722863962588102006-03-30T04:44:00.000-08:002006-03-30T04:47:43.973-08:00

Two days short of two months, there I stayed.It was foreign, over there, then.It feels foreign, over here, now.I was at a schizophrenic land where time stood still for the past 1000 years, where time also moves in rapid speed to catch up to the rest of the world, fast forwarding through the lost time. Fighting the worst jetlag I have ever experienced, I sleepwalked through the motions of life

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1139078958007424802006-02-04T10:00:00.000-08:002006-02-04T10:49:18.023-08:00

Every year when I see her, I find myself in a place where I have not traveled before. I went from denial, to anger, to avoidance, to nonchalant, to the most recent, sympathy. Previous years, I have dreaded to face her because of my fear that the dam of locked up anger and self pity and whatever else may come crashing down. I fear that I may be an ungrateful human trash that I do not deserve to

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1138493129779538992006-01-28T16:05:00.000-08:002006-01-28T16:05:29.790-08:00

From the other side of the world, I'd like to wish you all aHappy Lunar New Year!It's the year of the dog! Woof Woof!May the new year bring you much joy and happiness with a fresh and hopeful new beginning!Gong Xi Fa Cia!With love and sincere thanks for all your kind encouragement and friendship,Ivy

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1138250224024364472006-01-25T20:23:00.000-08:002006-01-25T20:41:46.866-08:00

We've done this countless of times. It's all too familiar, a bit too familiar to my liking actually. Yet, it was different this time. There we were, at the curbside like all the times before. This is where we usually start and end our weekends, at the airport, at the curbside. But this farewell was far crueler to me than the ones before. At least I didn't handle it as well as I have before.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1137552792698432532006-01-17T18:49:00.000-08:002006-01-17T20:06:30.473-08:00

When you try your best but you don’t succeedWhen you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can’t sleepStuck in reverse-- Coldplay, “Fix You”The second verse woke me this morning as the group’s melancholic tune floated out of the radio and took me into a trance. So many times I’ve said that I know what I want and I want to get what I want, but how many times do I

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1137186840409565502006-01-13T13:13:00.000-08:002006-01-13T13:21:37.753-08:00

Yes, it’s no secret I have been MIA for quite some time and before I knew it, the New Year has already begun. When life consumes me like it has the previous couple of months, I felt that time has stood still. In other words, I have not had the stamina or the time to look inside of myself nor the will to step back and look at the big picture. Perhaps I’ve not grown as a person and if that

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1133475566442291972005-12-01T14:17:00.000-08:002005-12-01T14:19:26.456-08:00

Credit: A compilation of photographs published on Flickr

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1133146386127060092005-11-27T19:32:00.000-08:002005-11-27T19:23:01.080-08:00

Love is all a matter of timing.It's no good meeting the right persontoo soon or too late.If I'd live in another time or place,my story might have had a very different ending.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1131745579106216602005-11-11T13:46:00.000-08:002005-11-11T13:49:17.273-08:00

Ivy: Hey Bo, want me to hook you up with a lawyer I met? He is 6' 1" and makes over 150K a year!C: Listen to yourself. Trying to introduce a guy to Bo, and what do you girls care about? Profession, height, and income.Ivy: ...Yeah well, women's got their youth and looks, and men's got their money and height... reality of the world. Bite me.----------And no, it doesn't matter how many times

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1131499881240167692005-11-08T18:30:00.000-08:002005-11-08T17:40:37.046-08:00

I saw him on the news the other day, and it hit me like an ACME anvil dropped on my head, complete with stars and birds hovering in circles above my head..."Wow, how did I miss this hottie?" I mumbled while chewing on my omelet ignoring whatever issue they were discussing on TV. How can a politician look so good? Ok, a politician in today's era, sans the Kennedys, there are really no one out

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1130919199547563352005-11-01T11:12:00.000-08:002005-11-02T07:59:48.823-08:00

Perhaps he does not even remember now, or perhaps it was a mindless gesture, or perhaps it was with loveliest intentions. Whatever it was, she will never know for sure. However, there was one thing she does know, it was that she knew she liked it even if its intentions were fuzzy. She liked it so much that she smiled contently with her eyes closed, savored every bit of sweetness, and took it

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1129768231132407902005-10-19T19:40:00.000-07:002005-10-19T20:45:11.130-07:00

I am having a hard time with it. Just when I thought I worked it out, something else found its way crawling back staring me in the face from the not so distant past. I want to disregard it, I really want to, but I can't seem to do it and I don't want to just run away from it. Perhaps I still need to give it sometime, I don't want to make a rash emotional decision, but I am also terrified of my

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1129326114845979732005-10-14T14:33:00.000-07:002005-10-14T14:41:54.853-07:00

This has been circulating around and I did it out of boredom, it's actually quite funny.Instruction: type in "(your name) needs" in Google and see what comes up.Ivy needs weedkiller.. Ivy relieves bored viewers.Ivy needs shade and shelter.Ivy needs to establish itself as high as possible within the canopy and is programmed to achieve this through climbing. (this is listed under the title, "

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1129072539413999922005-10-11T18:15:00.000-07:002005-10-11T16:25:43.186-07:00

I could not peel my eyes away from her. Her smooth porcelain like skin, her rosy cheeks, her perfect feminine arched eyebrows, her flirtatious long lashes, and her plump glossy lips kept me staring for the entire duration of the session. Her timid beauty contrasted with the stark, hospital like white setting of this tiny rectangular space that can barely fit 5 people comfortably. She sat

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1127781306392087472005-09-26T23:33:00.000-07:002005-09-26T23:15:14.353-07:00

I knew I wasn't wrong and I am glad!

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1127761129470582182005-09-22T19:49:00.000-07:002005-09-26T17:01:34.623-07:00

How much am I supposed to hold on to a moment? How much am I supposed to count on a moment? I believe in the moment, and I do hold the moment accountable for the foreseeable future. A moment of passion, a moment of promise, and a moment of progress, in my world, should be applicable on a continuum of moments, far into the horizon. However, the truth of the matter is, a moment is fleeting and

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1127329189843068492005-09-21T12:56:00.000-07:002005-09-21T13:18:43.666-07:00

J was 36 years old when his family acquired hospice services in his home. He had a happy marriage, a loving wife, and an adorable 3-year-old boy he was going to leave behind. His cancer ate him away at this young age, the hospice service removed the life support, his family gathered and waited. Days would past, and he held on, families said their goodbyes, yet he held on. The hospice nurse whose

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1127330880831577012005-09-20T23:58:00.000-07:002005-09-21T12:47:53.156-07:00

Tonight marked many firsts.For our first, it was everything I had hoped for.So let the waiting game begin, for life is a long waiting game.All is uncertain, for as much as we'd like to think we have control, our lives are not ours to begin with, nothing is ever secure, nothing is ever certain. I thik it is time for me to let go.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1127155874912110832005-09-19T11:43:00.000-07:002005-09-19T11:51:14.920-07:00

So much going on at work, I am so tired!!Just got back from a last minute whirlwind trip to NYC, it was amazing, tiresome, but worth it.With the book launching parties on two ends of the coasts, I am finally drained. This weekend I cocooned in my comfy lovely room and just vegged. That surely feels great, totally unproductive but great. Here is to another week!

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1125606371465502212005-09-01T13:30:00.000-07:002005-09-01T13:29:32.790-07:00

I didn't do anything wrong. I was taught to treat everyone the same, and I was taught to give my all. I thought friendship was just that, friendship. I've recently learned the word, "friend" was derived from the word "love" , and I lived it according to that definition, like how it was meant to be. I see now, how people build walls, why people build walls, why I wish I'd been wiser, or rather,

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1125360536135177462005-08-29T17:37:00.000-07:002005-08-29T18:08:37.120-07:00

There is a suttle difference between the two. Knowing what you want and knowing what's good for you.I know what I want, but I don't think I know what's good for me.Perhaps I've been fooling myself.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1124831757828349742005-08-23T13:18:00.000-07:002005-08-23T14:29:49.460-07:00

I could not get my day started this morning. I am royally annoyed today and I lack the usually chipper energy. I want to blame it on the medications I’ve been taking but what if all that’s flashing through my head have some validity on reality and I am just making excuses so I don’t have to see it? A twitch of the finger last night got me to a place where I did not at all want to

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1124832331658369892005-08-22T23:45:00.000-07:002005-08-23T14:28:26.386-07:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1124267409017409022005-08-16T23:48:00.000-07:002005-08-17T01:39:33.956-07:00

I went to dinner with L tonight and finally had a chance to sit down with him and just catch up with each other’s lives. Besides the fabulous tapas and sangrias and the amazing creme brulee, we also shared the happenings of our lives like we used to. Since he’s moved to San Jose, we haven’t had a lot of chance to have a meaningful conversation where it’s just the two of us.As always, his life

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1124040028935381152005-08-15T07:20:00.000-07:002005-08-15T17:23:47.006-07:00

We have done it again, calling each other at the exact same moment, and then blaming each other for crappy cell phone service while the calls went straight to the voicemail. Gag... I know.His ability and willingness to communicate has yet to cease to amaze me. He is logical, but not cold. He has a heart, but not overtly sensitive. Even through the phone, he can actually sense I am preoccupied,

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1123995965322129672005-08-13T22:05:00.000-07:002005-08-13T22:14:34.816-07:00

We all have that someone. That someone who we have let go, supposedly. Or more often than not, that someone is the one who let us go, and our pitiful hearts refuse, with all their might, to submit. That someone became a thing of the past, or so we thought. We fooled ourselves and overlooked the very presence of the ghost like haunting, they loom our present and intertwined into the future.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1123611456173726682005-08-09T11:19:00.000-07:002005-08-09T11:59:57.763-07:00

The past three weeks I've been battling some health problems. Doctors suspected chronic diseases that I can not pronounce, but thank goodness, they have now been ruled out. It turned out it's nothing but a bunch of different infections that the culmination of symptoms made things looked pretty bad initially. I did not tell anyone except C and a friend, not even my family. Even to C and my

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1122330464683174012005-07-25T14:30:00.000-07:002005-07-25T15:32:10.260-07:00

I know this is weird, but heck, I've been contemplating on how to go about this research for almost a month now. I've decided that starting with the readers of this little space is as good as any. I've recently got into a debate on what's considered a normal innie belly button. As illustrated on this beautiful, yet true to life photograph on the left, most of the innies I've encountered have

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1122053008102425062005-07-22T10:38:00.000-07:002005-07-22T11:00:36.966-07:00

I just had the most amazing customer service encounter with IBM. My boss dropped her $5000-spiffy-less-than-one-year-old ThinkPad on the ground and needless to say, it got pretty screwed up. So screwed up that the computer won't even boot up. On Monday, I called IBM tech support and during our pleasant 15-minute conversation, he had me fiddle around the computer hoping to trouble shoot the

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1122054610484682512005-07-21T23:40:00.000-07:002005-07-22T11:03:06.176-07:00

[Girliness Post Warning]I love highlights. I love the texture it adds to the hair and I love the sun kissed shades of brown and gold. I love my Maria who always did a superb job highlighting my hair with three different shades of golden brown. But... I despise roots. I despise the one section that is dark where the highlights are truncated. I despise the odd look, as if there is a hole on

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1121819995422057062005-07-19T18:28:00.000-07:002005-07-19T17:54:47.483-07:00

This past weekend was one to remember, many worthwhile discoveries I’ve made.First of all, I failed to attend the Harry Potter midnight party on Friday night as planned. Instead, I mourned my lack of energy and wallowed in sorrow of the reality that I am getting old. I was so tired after we got back from dinner that I could not drag my lifeless body out of bed. So I discovered that aging is

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1121363813339679612005-07-14T10:50:00.000-07:002005-07-14T10:56:57.956-07:00

The outcome turned out 100 times better than I can imagine. He has a way to open doors that I didn't think it was available. Now I just hope that all the traveling between the two countries isn't going to take a toll on me and that I can rise up to the position that I've been blessed with. Although I don't have the language barrier, I am sure there are still plenty to learn about operating a

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1120812118654425722005-07-07T23:48:00.000-07:002005-07-08T01:44:06.863-07:00

My baby is back!!It was totally strange and I know it was likely just my head playing games with me, at least that's what I tried to tell myself. How can the three-hour time difference make that much of an impact? Even though I still got to hear his soothing voice everynight, but I missed him so much more than when he was just 500 miles away. But because of this, I got a better look at my heart

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1120607417965124452005-07-06T17:50:00.000-07:002005-07-06T18:20:14.743-07:00

gei?·sha n. pl. geisha or gei?·shasOne of a class of professional women in Japan trained from girlhood in conversation, dancing, and singing in order to entertain professional or social gatherings of men.If the coming story in film is globalization, "Memoirs of a Geisha," (Novel by Arthur Golden, 1997) set for a Christmas release by Sony Pictures, may one day be seen as a movie at the tipping

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1120604723196534722005-07-05T16:03:00.000-07:002005-07-05T16:05:23.200-07:00

Last Tuesday, I came across an old voice message, it stirred the perfect glass sea of emotions, it created ripples like a prelude to a tsunami waiting to erupt and swallow me. I saved that very last message you left me, filled with loving words and tender apologies, I listened to it from the beginning to the end for the first time. I felt it coming but I quickly dismissed it hoping that it

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1119994369538346162005-06-28T14:29:00.000-07:002005-06-28T14:32:49.543-07:00

"It's amazing how far we'll go just to maintain some measure of control. The world spins a circle within a circle and we grip so tight it makes our knuckles white. When all we really want to do is let go, lose control, fall, see where we land."-Everwood

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1119649935091124962005-06-24T14:51:00.000-07:002005-06-24T14:52:15.096-07:00

There's a particular brand of pit that grows in your stomach when you know you're losing control and there's nothing you can do about it. Heavy as granite and moldering...It's the way we're built I suppose. A natural reaction to the unstoppable spin of the earth below. Forever trying to wrestle control of life, love, work, and home. And when we can't get control there, we'll fight for it wherever

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1118363714644750942005-06-09T17:50:00.000-07:002005-06-09T17:35:14.646-07:00

Two girls shared the same womb. For reasons they can not begin to fathom, they were left at the gates of an orphanage just a few days after they were born, a place where their parents knew the girls will be found. They lived in the orphanage together for almost a year. Then one day, one of the girls was adopted by her forever family on the other side of the world. Several months later, the

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1118103244654755252005-06-06T23:50:00.000-07:002005-06-07T09:04:12.630-07:00

I am proud of my Asian heritage, but it is at times like this I find it rather difficult.Lust...Ramen... Yummy.Street of NY... Looks as if the window might be open too.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1118087549879502482005-06-05T23:31:00.000-07:002005-06-06T17:15:29.460-07:00

It's always about control. It was a sensation that I've never felt before -- absolute control over myself. It was calming, stabilizing, and addictive. I don't know what came over me, but the stress, the competitiveness, the loathing came crushing down and that was the only thing that came across my mind and the results were startling. In a matter of minutes, I felt instantly better and I felt

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1117849576980118552005-06-03T18:07:00.000-07:002005-06-06T12:29:34.023-07:00

Last week I went on a mini-vacation to Catalina Island with C's family. His family is a fun bunch, cracking jokes, giving each other hard times, good fun. They were warm, but not overwhelming and I am thankful that they've invited me to go along. I also felt like a kid again, being taken care of is a nice feeling. It was all very comfortable.In the work front, I may have to make some major

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1117128776619921652005-05-26T10:31:00.000-07:002005-05-26T10:34:13.943-07:00

Once there were two women who never knew each other. One you do not remember, the other you call Mother. Two different lives shaped to make you one. One became your guiding star; the other became your sun. The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it. The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it. One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1117072660535711552005-05-25T19:00:00.000-07:002005-05-25T19:07:49.710-07:00

I am sorry I wasn’t there for you. ---- Being 4 years and 3 months apart was a lot when we were kids. When I was well versed and can read and write, she was merely an infant needed to be fed and changed. When I was riding a tricycle, she was being pushed in a stroller. When I was in first grade playing tag and hop scotch, she was barely 3 years old and still wobbled in her diapers like Donald

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1116983734013226482005-05-24T18:13:00.000-07:002005-05-24T18:33:10.283-07:00

It was a beautiful rose, one whole complete beautiful rose. Each petal I removed, I thought I was getting a little closer to uncovering the mysterious center that all these petals guarded so tightly. With each understanding, I peeled one petal away, and moved a little closer to the answer. As I disposed the last, to my great disappointment, I was left with nothing out of the ordinary. And the

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115554689306311762005-05-08T05:17:00.000-07:002005-05-08T05:22:13.080-07:00

Happy Mother's Day!I love you, and I miss you, Mom.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115320313582800982005-05-05T12:35:00.000-07:002005-05-05T12:34:14.490-07:00

I've been tagged by Amy.The Rules.So here's how it goes... I get to tag 3 people, then they have to pick 5 items from the following list, and complete the sentence with whatever fabulous things you can think of that you would do if you could be one of these things. No fair picking things you already are, either. Then you’re supposed to tag 3 other people to continue the excitement of the

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115281289297883822005-05-04T23:52:00.000-07:002005-05-05T01:25:48.746-07:00

Thought I'd change the design every year and was hoping to finish on May 1. Alas, I am couple of days late.Please note my favorite color is now the background, which, I am very pleased.My eyes are so dry and they hurt! So it's off to bed I go.And with that, I post one of my favorite photo I took recently. To see the real big version, click on the image.*yawn*

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115195189050274192005-05-03T23:56:00.000-07:002005-05-05T00:41:47.323-07:00

There on the bench, we quietly sat. Graced by the placidity of our surroundings on an early spring evening, we quietly sat. The setting sun splashed its warmth on my skin, echoing the sentiments of my heart. I wrapped my arms around yours, hugging it, and rested my head on your shoulder, just the right height, I thought to myself. Not a single soul was around, all was quiet. If it were not for

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115196803768495352005-05-02T01:49:00.000-07:002005-05-05T00:41:58.953-07:00

Look what Michelle brought back for me from Rome!It's a beautifully and detailed watercolors of Piazza Navona.It's only 3"x5".It's an original with a real signature of the artist.The artist used a lot of lavender based colors,which, by the way, is the best color in the world.I desperately need to go to Italy.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115064285381765732005-05-01T23:19:00.000-07:002005-05-02T13:06:15.806-07:00

She opened her eyes that morning from her two-week slumber. Her sister and elderly mother flew in to be by her bedside. Her husband and daughters were there too. The family was supposed to pull the plug the week before, but love and hope and prayers kept her alive and now, she opened her eyes, breathed on her own, and smiled occasionally. It was a miracle, they said.But everything changed.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1115080320401023702005-04-30T17:29:00.000-07:002005-05-05T00:26:46.150-07:00

Swans mate for life and they live up to 40 years.Thanks, Barney.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1114801781719596412005-04-28T22:57:00.000-07:002005-04-29T18:18:37.766-07:00

I had to deal with a minor episode of withdraw on Tuesday morning when I woke in a bed that suddenly seemed all too big. That morning, I turned off the classical station that flowed out of the Dream Machine, I then closed my eyes and tried to hear his soft voice, the voice that greeted me in the mornings with a simple yet tender "hey" that made my heart skips a beat every time, and I searched

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1114039052071517562005-04-20T16:30:00.000-07:002005-04-20T17:11:23.730-07:00

September, 1995, the white t-shirt, 6 feet tall figure took her breath away with his wit, polite manner, and intelligence.February 10, 1996, on the dance floor, she gave her whole heart away for the first time. May 16, 1996, she tried to find every shredded piece that were thrown back at her in every corner of her little world. In constant tears she desperately tried to mend, wanted it be

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113901262047716932005-04-19T01:32:00.000-07:002005-04-19T10:28:31.900-07:00

Need a little mental health day so posting a picture we go. Bright colors and art supplies always make me happy. It doesn't hurt when they are living in their little compartments nicely labeled in an organized fashion. Orderliness is what I need right now, matters of the heart are always so pain-stakingly hard to deal with. Thank you all, for your emails and sweet thoughts and good wishes...

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113864232380751302005-04-18T17:43:00.000-07:002005-04-18T22:43:16.783-07:00

I don’t know how to run away from the prying, the judging, the assumptions and the ill-wills. With no prevailing goals or purpose, the cold and distant words haunted me with much sadness and agony. I withdrew into my shell, I questioned my values, I suspected the intentions, I doubted everything, I distrusted myself… perhaps, these were the goals after all and I despise you for making me

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113720208918225492005-04-16T23:16:00.000-07:002005-04-17T00:02:46.500-07:00

It was something new and it was something exciting. It brought out eagerness, it needed attention, and it conduced the desire to please. Then time elapsed, the unknown became known, the mystery was gone, the enthusiasm dwindled, and fewer efforts were made. It became comfortable and reduced it to nothing but monotonous motions. How quickly the dazzling colors fade, how quickly it aged, and

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113549649890807712005-04-15T00:19:00.000-07:002005-04-15T00:22:43.563-07:00

Oh yeah baby... delicious true love. Love, resides in D-Cups.Anyone? Anyone?

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113530182758064692005-04-14T19:01:00.000-07:002005-04-14T19:02:43.863-07:00

Dear PNDLR,I wish I can tell you what I am about to say in person but I know it’s not possible, for I am dead to you. Instead, I am going to tell it to the world and hoping that perhaps my good wishes will somehow reach you.I just heard of your great news, to my surprise, tears trickled down my face uncontrollably. I realized how much I missed you. Months of worries have finally ended and

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113256896323412192005-04-13T17:01:00.000-07:002005-04-14T16:33:50.540-07:00

If a situation may produce a compromising position and lead to regretable events, then it is wise to avoid it at all costs. If it can lead to hurting another human being, then it is also wise to avoid it out of love and respect.Unless the situation itself is a gateway to an outcome that can fulfill a secret desire then there is no reason to avoid it after all. Temptation can be driven by

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113254357137902202005-04-12T23:19:00.000-07:002005-04-13T12:11:01.320-07:00

Like every woman out there, I want to be beautiful, at least somewhat attractive. Many of us females often obsess over clothes, makeup, shoes, or handbags because this is one of the venues we can achieve "look at me" for whatever reasons we fancy. However, I’ve been described as "cute" far more often than "beautiful" by both men and women. I never had problems with it until last year, when all

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113244873908372182005-04-11T11:41:00.000-07:002005-04-11T12:34:46.833-07:00

I’ve been having recurring dreams this entire weekend. The story line and people involved may be different but the theme is always the same. I can't help it but to think that the subconscious seems a lot more aware of my psyche than the conscious. What these dreams imply, metaphorically or not, intimately reflected issues that I fail to see, admit, or deal with during my waking hours.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1113245531109845932005-04-10T23:47:00.000-07:002005-04-11T15:01:15.283-07:00

I don't know why we were talking about this over brunch, but I couldn't exactly define the second definition of celibate so I had to look it up. Either way, I still think the ability to remain celibate and be content/happy is a blessing, whichever definition it is referring to.cel·i·bate n. 1. One who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows. 2. One who is

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111286350684293822005-04-07T18:37:00.000-07:002005-04-11T14:29:57.640-07:00

I've been meaning to post this for almost a month now since I first found out about this amazing new artist. His songs are a little folksy, a little jazzy, and a little R&B. He is young, talented, and with his amazing insights into the human condition, he writes beautiful lyrics and sings his hearts out in his gorgeously rich falsetto. If Norah Jones and the likes is your type of music,

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112817489061379382005-04-05T11:46:00.000-07:002005-04-06T12:58:09.063-07:00

Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.We were wiser when we were children.Protecting ourselves with a little poem like this.Stressed or not, sometimes we all just need a moment,take a deep breath, and then speak.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112684132276728232005-04-04T23:36:00.000-07:002005-04-05T00:01:55.453-07:00

Went for my annual physical today and I am in good health. Amazing blood pressure, according to the RN. Kaiser has mostly male nurses working with female doctors, most interesting phenomenon. I changed my primary doctor and I met her for the first time today and I already love her to death. Why? Because she thought I am still in college! Woohoo, must've been the eye cream! I was probably

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112684418074001472005-04-03T14:45:00.000-07:002005-04-05T00:00:30.800-07:00

From a geek, to another *e-hem* geek.It travels with me everywhere.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112684272696968402005-04-01T23:56:00.000-08:002005-04-04T23:57:52.696-07:00

I fool ya! I fool ya! Both S and C. Ohhh... I love April Fools!

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112361220711834292005-04-01T23:48:00.000-08:002005-04-01T05:34:29.966-08:00

Click on image for full version. Take away the distractions of colors, then only texture, light and shadow remain. It's fascinating that while alive, colors make them attractive but in their wilted state, shades of grey bring out the beauty that still remains.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112225404770274242005-03-30T17:28:00.000-08:002005-03-30T15:42:54.200-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112204470540315752005-03-29T09:39:00.000-08:002005-03-30T09:41:10.543-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112204667794115992005-03-28T20:43:00.000-08:002005-03-30T09:44:27.793-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112146614299844302005-03-27T17:12:00.000-08:002005-03-30T11:59:09.650-08:00

I finally met up with E after nine six years. We were very close in high school, as close as two teenage girls can possibly be. During college, for various reasons, we did a horrible job keeping in touch and the last time I saw her was sophomore year, before my father decided to move out to California from New Jersey. We sent each other occasional notes and emails but never managed to keep

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1112144340747983962005-03-25T23:58:00.000-08:002005-03-29T19:16:48.276-08:00

I find myself reminiscing that moment-- the tender way he held me, the passionate way he kissed me and the gentle way he whispered to me. I did not know that he, too, felt the same way I do. It is amazing that a little word he whispered in my ear can bring me closer to him in ways I can not begin to fathom. Earlier that night, when I first saw him walked into Starbucks, when I saw the familiar

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111606200744484772005-03-23T11:26:00.000-08:002005-03-23T12:42:14.543-08:00

I know my Hello Kitty cake is not nearly as beautiful as the one you gave me, but I made the effort to learn Korean! Hope your day is as wonderful as can be!Happy Birthday, Michelle!

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111278468787117552005-03-19T09:19:00.000-08:002005-03-19T17:45:37.206-08:00

Brain: Get up!Body: What the bleep! It's bleep 7:45AM on a bleep Saturday! Go back to sleep!Brain: You lazy bleep, we have to go to work, moron.Body: You son of a bleep! It's your bleep inability to finish what you need to do at work so why should I have to suffer? I only got 4 hours last night, you want to deal with a whining bleep all day?Brain: Fine! I'll get you coffee. Now haul your

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111172991716403632005-03-18T11:09:00.000-08:002005-03-19T16:47:17.800-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111106705517660142005-03-17T19:40:00.000-08:002005-03-17T19:40:44.516-08:00

Well, it was here last week and its spirit is dwindling. I am back into my jacket and boots instead of short sleeves and sandals. But traces of spring can still be found everywhere.. . cherry, peach, plum blossoms... all so purty!

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111106371550895542005-03-16T22:35:00.000-08:002005-03-17T19:39:37.316-08:00

Something as ordinary as the Chinese Silver Grass (Miscanthus sinensis Gracillimus) probably doesn’t get a whole lot of attentions. At first glance, they are nothing but weeds, unattractive, and common. Botanists even consider them as pest plants. They do not fit the list of definitions of what’s beautiful or exceptional, and they may never get a second look by passing pedestrians. If it

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1111097120917864812005-03-15T23:58:00.000-08:002005-03-17T16:34:51.570-08:00

A good sensual kiss encompasses the raw, the delicate, the known, and the unspoken.It's the form of intimacy that surpasses all others. And this painting perfectly illustrates everything more eloquently than words I can conjure up.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110875342080442552005-03-14T23:19:00.000-08:002005-03-15T00:29:02.083-08:00

A little email tugged my heartstring today. It's always the little gestures that make the world of difference. Playful, flirtatious, and fun.I miss you so terribly, froo...

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110753974730478912005-03-13T10:30:00.000-08:002005-03-13T14:46:14.733-08:00

"Needless fear and panic over disease and misfortune that seldom materialize are simply bad habits. By proper ventilation and illumination of the mind it is possible to cultivate tolerance, poise and real courage.".:Elie Metchnikoff:.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110620297389517522005-03-12T01:57:00.000-08:002005-03-12T19:19:58.620-08:00

Marie inspired me with her "Five Random Things" post. So here is a pictorial list of my own. Click image for a larger versionWhatever happened to spring?A decadant surprise from my sweet CI let someone else took a picture of me, good lordMeat market, ughLet it be.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110533079768372232005-03-11T00:13:00.000-08:002005-03-11T01:25:21.063-08:00

Guess who I saw when I opened the garage? LMJ! He is all grown up now and I think he remembers me because when I said "hi", he meowed, and I said "hi" again, he meowed again. Since when I become such a softie towards cats? Looks like our neighbors have been taking good care of him. I am so glad I got to see him again.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110514948812855652005-03-10T20:20:00.000-08:002005-03-10T20:22:28.813-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110501654875230122005-03-09T22:29:00.000-08:002005-03-10T16:41:13.916-08:00

Click image for a larger version

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110360237913648482005-03-08T23:15:00.000-08:002005-03-10T19:40:40.330-08:00

I took these on my drive down to OC couple of weeks ago while doing 85 miles per hour. It was one of the most amazingly meditative experiences I've ever had. The vibrant plum blossoms, the dramatic clouds, and the peek-a-boo sun behind the stormy weather were quite distracting in a good way. The drive down, though long, but the ever changing sceneries of central California kept me company which

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110332094341795882005-03-07T23:55:00.000-08:002005-03-09T09:35:49.760-08:00

Hooray for cute tushy, firm shoulders, sensual back, inability to lie, self-implicating embarrasing questions, and honesty.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110331534432830992005-03-05T22:37:00.000-08:002005-03-09T10:53:28.036-08:00

I only call people by their names if I don't feel that I know them all that well. If I've developed really close relationships with people, I will rarely, if at all, call them by their names. In today's cell phone infested world, caller ID informs me the person on the other side of the line before I even pick up. To those I hold dear, I simply answer with a "hey", "hi", "what's up", "hiya", or a

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1110331774471647192005-03-04T19:29:00.000-08:002005-03-09T00:39:23.950-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1109892435607387802005-03-03T13:26:00.000-08:002005-03-03T15:40:10.886-08:00

Last night as I flipped through the Tiffany & Co. catalogue, the sparkling jewelries displayed on the glossy bond papers brought me back to a moment 9 years ago on my 19th birthday. It was one year before the “accident”, Mom was healthy then. That day, she gave me a necklace, a Tiffany’s heart-shaped gold necklace that she’s always worn for as long as I can remember. I lifted up my hair as Mom

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1109755997679804892005-03-01T22:48:00.000-08:002005-03-02T01:36:12.780-08:00

My personal life and work are taking a toll on me. Everything seems to drag. I need closure. I want closure. I guess to balance out the good things that's been happening in my life, there must be unfortunate events. These past couple of weeks have been a blur. Judgments, confusions, confessions are just draining me day after day after day. I don't need a break, I just need some kind of

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1109316986812985562005-02-24T23:36:00.000-08:002005-02-24T23:36:26.813-08:00

Understanding is an amazing thing. After what had happened, this is the first time he discuss how he feels about this whole thing, what his perspectives are, and what role he sees himself playing here. It not only helped me understand him a little more, I feel more connected and less alone. I feel as if I can lean a little, and let go a little, and perhaps, sleep a little.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1109215568367102972005-02-24T23:29:00.000-08:002005-02-24T23:29:21.670-08:00

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,Silence the pianos and with muffled drumBring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overheadScribbling on the sky the message [She] Is Dead,Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. [She] was my North, my South,

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1109215424298643482005-02-23T19:23:00.000-08:002005-02-23T19:23:44.300-08:00

I’ve been mesmerized by Joshua Bell’s fluid rendition of O Mio Babbino Caro for quite sometime now. I repeated it over and over during my drive between LA and SF and all day today at work. I couldn’t seem to pull myself away from the melodious expressions with so much emotion, so much love, yet I couldn’t figure out why there seem to be a tinge of sadness in such beautiful song. I knew it was

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1109102510953226322005-02-22T12:17:00.000-08:002005-02-22T12:04:21.126-08:00

These past eight months, we brought each other much joy, we inflicted each other with much pain. You… crowned me the most beautiful, condemned me the most hideous, gazed at me with adoration, spitted at me with contempt, held me up tall to reach the stars, banished me down to the 9th level of hell, you gave me your life, and now you are taking it all away. I am sorry for what I have done, but I

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1108636587525795722005-02-16T23:58:00.000-08:002005-02-17T02:50:12.626-08:00

Messing with the camera's panoramic function.Image is a little distorted, but it was fun to put 5 images together.How I long for a wide angle lens.PanoramaLeftRightLove the SF clouds during this crazy weather.I've never appreciated rain so much in my life.

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1108637422407016312005-02-16T10:48:00.001-08:002005-02-17T02:50:55.826-08:00

Ivynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5270875.post-1108551881228074052005-02-15T11:57:00.000-08:002005-02-16T03:06:15.780-08:00

An unexpected pencil.An unexpected shirt.An unexpected call.An unexpected smile.

Ivynoreply@blogger.com